Thursday, May 26, 2005

One last blast before I split

You’re going to have to stay with me on this one. The route is circuitous but we’ll get there, I promise. I hate to shop for clothes. There are many other things that I don’t mind shopping for such as groceries, alcohol, cars, music, ammunition et al. You get the picture. Shopping for clothes however, is one of those things that I will put off until the bitter end. And I mean the B-I-T-T-E-R end. I love my underwear with holes in them. I don’t mind the occasional stain on a t-shirt. I think it gives them character. I have a Carolina shirt circa 1986 that I still wear religiously. And by religious, I mean that Napster prays for me not to wear this shirt. This could be why I usually go with one particular brand of clothing for work/play. I know what size I need with these guys and what will and will not look good given my meso/endomorphic body type. Plus they last a long time and that’s a cool with me since I don’t like to shop. If I have to purchase something from a different clothing maker, I will try on the clothes because I do NOT want to make a return trip. This is the part I hate the most. I have a story on changing rooms but it'll have to wait until another time. When did they start letting boys and girls in the same fitting room!!?? Now my better half has a completely different view of how to shop. She will go out and bring back sacks of clothing from all different types of makers and will not have tried on the first thing. Once home, the parade of clothing begins…Does this look good? Does this go with this…Does this look too tight…blabbity, blah blah, blah. I love her, I truly do, but I’m not the person to ask about this sort of thing. The only thing I know is, (A)-Woman looks hot and (B)-Woman does not look hot but don’t say that because you’ll wind up regretting it. I went shopping one time with Napster and Mo back when we were living in the “Place of a Trillion Peachtree Streets”. We went to some Outlet place and split up. Beavis and Butthead one-way, me the other. Approximately 15 minutes and $500 dollars later, I was done. Approximately 5 or 17 hours later, here come the twins. They were giggling and laughing and just generally yucking it up, while I was ready to shove a ballpoint pen in my eye. I think that after all was said and done, everything they purchased was returned. Shopping for these guys is just an excuse to get things, to take back and go shopping again. That’s cool with me just leave me out of it. That said, I do like to look nice and would like to experiment with different clothing labels. But I hate looking through all of the different types of clothing and having to try on everything I picked out. Oh the glory days of “Garanamals”. Once you knew your animal, everything slid into place. Well kiddies, here we are. A company called Intellifit has come up with a solution that I can’t wait to try. You walk into this booth and within minutes it has taken measurements with around 200, 000 points of reference. Then you receive a printout of what brands and sizes would fit you best. All of this happens while you’re still fully clothed. I don’t know if the ladies will like it but all I need is a list and I can fall right into hunter mode. Ain’t technology cool.