Monday, April 04, 2005

Being an Adult Sucks Sometimes

I’ve been on an emotional ride ever since this merger was announced last November. For a while, I didn’t think I would have a job. I didn’t find out for sure that I would have a job until late January…and the job was going to move me to either New Mexico, Texas, Missouri or the Washington/Oregon area. So then I had to decide if I was ready to move again or not. I have since decided I do not want to move right now. Not for this training position I have currently. So I put in for an Area Sales Manager position that would be perfect for me! I had my hopes up about this job for a long time…basically since mid-February. I have heard both positive and negative things from others on my chances of getting this job. My big competition is others with multi-store management experience. My interview has been rescheduled 4 times due to travel issues, delays and schedules. I finally interviewed over the phone with the hiring manager today. This is the guy that interviewed me over the phone when I lived in Arizona and hired me over the phone….the one that I moved cross country to work for! The interview went great. I usually don’t have a big issue with interviews. I basically told him that I was the best person for that job, despite not having mutli-store management experience and told him what I would do in the position, my management philosophy (which he already knows) and answered all of his questions and received positive responses to all my answers. I asked him some questions to see if I could get a feel for what he was thinking. I finally asked him if there was anything that would keep me from getting the position and if there was anything else I could do or answer for him and his supervisor to clear up any reasons why I wouldn’t get the position. He said no. He knows I’m a great manager, he knows my style, he knows my success stories…he was there to see them. He said I’m in the top 4 for the position….the top of the top 4. And that the only thing is that I have competitors that have multi-store experience out there. He should have a decision by the end of the week….which means next week sometime! If I get this job, I’ll most likely end up moving to Charleston, SC. No problem, I’ll be near the water again, it’ll be close to my family when they move down here from Chicago, and it’s a hell of a lot better than moving to the other places mentioned above! If I don’t get this job, I’m in a little bit of a predicament. I had a discussion with my manager last week on my career path with the company and where I wanted to go if I didn’t get his Sales Manager position. She was very supportive as to what I wanted and understood why I wanted to stay where I am. So at this point, my choices would be to move to one of those far out places other than Texas or New Mexico (that position has been filled) and stick with the training department (that I haven’t been happy with thus far), possibly stay in Columbia as a trainer if that position comes open (which there is a good chance it will) or to go back to a retail store (don’t know where) and be a manager again. I don’t want to do that…it’s like taking a step down….I’ve done it – challenge me! So that’s where I’m at right now. I’ve done a little job surfing online around my area, not finding too much! I wish I could afford to just go back to school full time! But we know that’s not going to happen! It’s tough….I don’t like looking for a job. It’s scary. The thought that you might have to do something you don’t like, take a cut in pay, or have to work 2 jobs again just to make ends meet…..it’s just plain scary! Not having anyone to fall back on, like the second income of a spouse or a sugar daddy ;-), it’s just a very scary feeling! I don’t want to be a grown-up anymore!