Monday, February 28, 2005

Where have you lived?

I found this on Allan's Site. Bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now... Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C / Go HERE to have a form generate the HTML for you. Wow, I'm a state whore!!

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Worst Songs On The Radio Right Now

This post got me to thinking about all the crap that is being played on the radio right now. Songs that are annoying as the cats that mate outside my window in the morning, are as boring as watching paint dry, or as painful as papercuts!
#1 Akon - Lonely ---->A guy rapping about how lonely he is after is girl up and left out of the bed. It makes me even more mad that the song he's sampling was about a soldier waiting for a damn letter while at war. #2 JLo - Get Right ---->I can't even comment cause I don't even understand the lyrics. I understand the words, they just make any sense. #3 Lindsey Lohan - Over ---->Nothing like being 100% positive that this is total studio creation! #4 Britney Spears - Do Somethin' ---->I got excited when she got married and she said she was going to lay low for awhile and start a family. What.the.hell!! Don't go back on that...you promised!!! #5 Mariah Carey - It's Like That ---->It's nothing like throwing talent out the window for some shitty lyrics, done beat and a repeated feature of worn our rappers. #6 Various Artists - Across the Universe ---->This was that song that was done terribly on the Grammys. I'd like to say that their heart was in the right place, but if you are trying to raise money for a good cause, then produce something I'd want to buy. #7 Usher - Caught Up ---->Okay, so this isn't the worst song playing on the radio right now, in fact, it isn't that bad. It just reminds me of a black Michael Jackson song mixed with some Justin Timberlake. Have we exhausted all of our options here??? #8 Lindsey Lohan - Rumors ---->Yes, she made the chart twice! All I want to do is turn on the radio and hear her whining about how she can't go to a club dressed like a hootchie mamma without people talkin' about it.
And what makes this even funnier.....I got all of these songs off the Billboard Top 50!!!

Rap has hit Rock Bottom

Do you know the Bobby Vinton song Mr. Lonely? Lonely, I’m Mr. Lonely I have nobody for my own I am so lonely, I’m Mr. Lonely Wish I had someone to call on the phone (Yes - my mind IS full of obscure song lyrics) Well, I was listening to XM Radio Online and I heard this song by a rapper called Akon. Please listen to it all so you can share in my amusement! Basically, they sped up the track to sound like Alvin from the Chipmunks singing Vinton's chorus and put it to the beat to Shaggy's It Wasn't Me Talk about some poor sampling!! Needless to say, after I picked myself up off the floor from laughing so hard, I promptly changed the XM channel to the 90's, when there was hard core rap...ya know, Vanilla Ice & MC Hammer ;-)

Expensive Therapy

Before you read this, let me put in a little disclaimer. I absolutely LOVE attending school online! Yes, I say love. The classes are only 5 weeks long which fits my short attention span. There are no "busy work" assignments. You either discuss things in a newsgroup format or you write a paper...very easy. No tests! And I get to take classes that really do benefit me and not just credit fillers! There are two downsides, one is that it's expensive as hell! If my work didn't pay for it, I'd be blogging a lot more because I wouldn't be able to go to school :-P The other downside is some of the morons they let it to the classes that use it as their damn therapy session! They come in on the first day of class and start off with their sob stories! They usually sound like excuses...My husband left me with 5 kids, I work 2 jobs, and my dream is to be a nurse...I live in East Butt Crack with a jacked up time zone so my assignments may be turned in at obscene times....I was born with no fingers so I type with my toes, which may delay my work....or, I have no concept of what it's like in the real world so I will fluff my work with how I feel, even though it isn't based on any actual factual information that I've observed or even experienced!! BITE ME!!! I am 5 weeks away from getting my Associates. I will admit, I have severe short-timers disease. I could really give a flying f*ck about this last class I'm taking and will probably not make a huge effort in retaining the information. However, I will do my part, get my assignments in, and write like I have some sense to me and walk away with my A. This class I am finishing up this week is a communications class. What brought my tantrum on is my team is working on our final Power Point Presentation and they decided to use my scenario from our paper of the communications skills that were used, or the lack there of, during this merger. I included 1 sentence about my concern on whether I would have a job or not and where it would be...everything else was about Company A and Company B. They made the whole presentation about ME!! What the hell?!? They made one sentence into a damn soap opera so I had to put my foot down tonight! Now, I already know I'm a feeler by nature, but give me a freaking break! Here are some excerpts from this class:
Q: How effective is your communication with supervisors, co-workers, and subordinates in the workplace? How effective or ineffective is the communication of these other individuals? A: I must answer this question tonight, as I am driving from California to Mesquite, Nevada later on tonight. I am going to bring my Grandmother (96 years old) to my house to live. She has just recently broken her hip, and will convalesce with us. -You know what, I'm sorry your grandmother has broken her hip, but this has nothing to do with the question, it shows us you are going to use your defective grandmother as an excuse for the rest of the class A:Women tend to take comments and suggestions personally and this affects the workplace communication environment. Men are able to distance themselves enough that they do not take comments personally. Maybe this is the reason - the difference in make up of men and women. Does anyone else feel this is true? Please don't take these comments the wrong way - remember, I'm a woman!! -How else are we supposed to take these comments??? This make up difference between men and women?? Care to elaborate?? You make women look bad "Does anyone feel this is true?" Grow some damn mock balls and stick to your story! No room for wishy-washy here. Q: What relationships in your life involve significant conflict? What factors contribute to this conflict? You know this question opened up the flood gates! It ended up being a group therapy session about divorces and how awful their parents were!
I'm sure I seem cold and insensitive, but there is a time and a place to talk about how difficult your life is, and it's not in our classes. We all have difficult jobs, have some sort of difficult family, difficult schedules, computers that crash, get sick, shitty days and we are all taking 1-2 classes online. SO.GET.OVER.IT!! Stop the whining and see if you can contribute some valuable information to the forum. If not, call someone, throw something, see your therapist, start a blog, key your ex's car, slash your bosses tires...whatever you need to do... Just leave me out of it!!! I'm not paying $1500 a class to hear 15 people I don't know whine about how difficult their lives are.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Smoking Causes Impotence

I've always promised myself that I wouldn't marry a man that smokes. Now maybe I can use this to back me up...
Smoking Ups Impotence Risk in Younger Men NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Adding to evidence that smoking is bad for a man's sex life, new study findings show that smoking may raise the risk of impotence, particularly in younger men. Researchers found that among the more than 1,300 men they followed, those who smoked were at greater risk of erectile dysfunction (ED) than either former smokers or non-smokers... ...A number of past studies have pointed to the impotence risk associated with smoking. Though the reasons aren't fully clear, it's thought that the effects of smoking on the blood vessels may impair blood flow to the penis, leading to problems with maintaining an erection.
So is this why men like to smoke after sex too? :-P

Four Eyes

I am currently in a rush to get Lasik surgery done due to a change in our benefits recently. I started putting money into a Flex Spending account so I could do this at the end of the year. Well, since the merger, my Flex Spending account will change to theirs April 1st. So, I'm trying to get the surgery done before then to take advantage of the fact that I have only put like $300 in there and will get to use the full $1300. I've done my research and even made the mistake of watching THIS VIDEO (do not watch if you are squeamish - you have been warned!) I have scheduled my appointment for my consultation and work up for March 9th. The thing is, to get the work up done this quickly, they told me to stop wearing my contacts now! What!?! I have worn contacts since age 13. Seriously, I refused to wear glasses!!! I've gotten so bad that I don't take them out except to put in new ones (I'm ready for the comments of scolding to come rolling in on that one). So I went to the eye doctor and told them to hook me up with a cheap pair of glasses as I would only be wearing them for about a month. Did I mention I HATE GLASSES!! I look awful in them....and they happen to hide one of my few good features...my eyes. Okay, other than that totally vain reasons I hate glasses, they actually make me nauseous!! When I look peripherally or look down, there is no lens there - so the difference in sight makes me ill! My eyes have been watering since yesterday when I started to wear the stupid things! I know they are just breathing from not having contacts in, but it's a pain in the ass! I just hope they will be okay for the consultation and work up. Does anyone else have any insight they could share? Update 2/27/05: I went out with this dude last night and he actually liked them!! Not quite sure what he was smokin'!

Friday, February 25, 2005

Movies by Bunnies

Now this is how movie previews should really be...(thanks Napster) Famous Movies Reenacted by Bunnies

How Prisons Should Be

To those of you who are not familiar with JOE ARPAIO, he is the Maricopa Arizona County Sheriff - and he keeps getting elected over and over... THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY: Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona) who created the "tent city jail": He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights. Cut off all but "G" movies. He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination. He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again only let in the Disney channel and the weather channel. When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs. He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value. When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back." He bought Newt Gingrich' lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.
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More on the Arizona Sheriff: With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates ! living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts. On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 degrees inside the week before. Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their pink socks. "It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It's inhumane."
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Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your mouths!" Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves. Sheriff Joe was just reelected Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona. Update Songstress7 gave me a link to this post about some other things about Sheriff Joe. Some interesting stuff. Only fair to show both sides. Thanks girly!

Kiki Sitting

I am struggling with what I do with Kiki when I leave on these trips. This past week I was gone for a week. I fly to Kill Me, Texas Tuesday for a full week, to Shoot Me, Missouri on the 14th for a full week, and back to Kill Me, Texas for a couple days at the end of March. Seeing I just moved here and know absolutely nobody, I have to revert to a few options: 1. Drive 4 hours (one way) to a friends house in North Carolina to drop Kiki off. She stays with someone I would trust with my life, has people to love on and has a routine. 2. Leave her at the kennel here for $15 a night. This is what I did this past week. 3. Hire a pet sitter where it's $15 per visit to your house. Option #1 is about to wear out. I've done this several times, and my friend shows no sign of being tired of it, but I feel very very bad! She has a dog and 3 cats of her own, not to mention her own hectic schedule. Option #2 I have done twice since I have been here. The place was really clean and seemed to have really nice people working there. However, they have these rooms that are filled with multiple mini-rooms. Cinder block on each side and then a link fence door. They are on cold concrete. I bring Kiki her favorite blanket and her toy, but it's still not the same considering she either is laying in my recliner or in my bed. What concerns me most is all the dogs she's around. She in this room where her jail neighbor is some huge, monstrous, Kiki eating dog. They bark loud and are scary. It's like being in a hotel and knowing the guy next door to you looks like the guy you saw on the Sex Offenders list or the Most Wanted. Kiki might be traumatized. Option #3 I am just not fond of having someone come into my house like that. Plus, they would have to come by multiple times a day...we are then talking like $30-$45 a day. I can spend less at a hotel!! So this is my huge concern at this moment. I am actually bringing her to work with me today because I missed being away from her so much this week and know she won't get to see me next week.

Pootie the Wonder Dog, Part Deux

So as most of you know, I have recently experienced the lethal release of puppy gas I picked Kiki up from the kennel last night, we came home and just layed on the couch and watched all the shows I DVR'd the past week. She's the perfect dog for this. I lay back in my recliner or on my couch, and she just comes and lays on my chest. She's only about 2 1/2 hands long so she fits perfectly. She's just so loving! This morning, as I'm writing about my difficulty being a single dog mother, I smell the most narsty (narsty is worse than nasty for those of you that didn't know) smell that could come from any living thing. Then I hear sounds - Kiki is in the dining area passing gas! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! Is this the terrible twos in doggy land? She was fed no communist turkey hot dogs (thank you JN) this time, so it must have been the kennel food - or her getting back at me for leaving her there. She's a very smart dog so I wouldn't put it past her!! So, I have decided to bring her to work today and let her spread her gas love, throughout the office.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Days like this...

I found out that I'm probably moving again, after moving just 4 months ago and then 3 months ago before that. Here's my response...
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What Kind of Dog Are You?

I saw this quiz and decided to take it. And then found out that Tammi's Road Warrior Survival had another quiz which was a little more fun. So I thought I would find out what kind of dog I would be besides the occasional reference to a female dog :-P The first site says I am a Saint Bernard.
The Saint Bernard is a devoted and gentle giant. Her calm personality allows her to relate well to children and adults alike while satisfying her need for companionship. She is at home in nature and enjoys exercise, though she is not particularly fond of traditional forms of play. Her coat requires weekly brushing to keep it neat and can be left long or cut short for versatility. She's relaxed in most situations, and her hassle-free nature can't be beat.
Hmmm...enjoys exercise? Maybe if a larger dog is chasing me. I say this is correct on my good days. Maybe I'll retake the quiz to see what I am on my bad. (Be nice!)
Tammi's quiz said I was a Sussex Spaniel. My personality.... Good working animal with an excellent sense of smell and distinctive tongue action (wooowhooo) that is very reassuring to those close to it. Tends to stick to one person and ignore everyone else. (And that person is very lucky according to this!) :-)
So from a Saint Bernard to a Sussex Spaniel, talk about being bipolar!

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Yummy Celebrities

The more irritated and annoyed I get at what's happening at work, the more mindless things I do to try to limit my bitchiness. Today's mindless activity was brought on by Ebony asking Morrigan and I who our top 3 sexiest celebrities are. But this was an active discussion - we had to look up pictures of each celebrity we were crowning sexiest and support our decision! So we looked up all of our choices on the Internet Movie Database and gazed at these morsels of celebrity eye candy. And in no particular order, my top 3 Sexiest Celebrities of each sex...
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us Heath Ledger Image Hosted by ImageShack.us George Clooney Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us Mark Wahlberg Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Halle Berry Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us Charlize Theron Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us Angelina Jolie
Feel free to share your own choices, I'm open for discussion ;-)

Cross Species Procreation

Hmmmm, I thought this would get your attention! I have a class I trained called FISH and at the end of the class, each participant gets a stuffed fish named Pete. Well, Napster's cat Stella was caught pillaging Pete's fishy innocence. Image Hosted by ImageShack.us The Hunt Image Hosted by ImageShack.us The Attack So would this relationship spawn Catfish???

Withdrawals!!!

I wasn't able to get on here at all yesterday and was having total withdrawals!! It's like crack! Then I was going to vent about IT, usernames and passwords just like Bou did, but she took care of that and my problem was JUST.NOW.FIXED!! I had to laugh at Bou last night because she started my trip on caffeine. I am a religious water drinker! Once in a while I'll drink a sugar free Red Bull (liquid crack) to get a boost, but otherwise I drink 2-3 liters of water a day. Well, Monday night I took the Excedrine (contains caffeine) and Mountain Dew remedy she prescribed. Tuesday I drank 3 Red Bulls to try and get through my HR torture training and when I got to my next location last night, I could have stayed up all night. I had a roommate (because I'm a loser and didn't make my reservations in advance), so I went to bed around 11:30 after taking some Tylenol PM and thought I was going to have a spastic seizure. I really did not feel like I could lay still! Have you ever seen a dog try and run in their sleep....I thought I was going to do that! Then, about 45 minutes later, I turned into a vegetable! Talk about uppers and downers! And I woke up this morning like little elves came and stole my muscles. So the only cure I can think of now is a MUCHO MARGARITA! Nothing makes you feel better like tequila running through your vains! ;-)

Monday, February 21, 2005

The Big Picture

Today I had to drive to Charleston for a meeting for work. I was already dreading it because they were requiring us to be there from 7:45-5:00. They obviously don't understand that that's usually what time I get up in the morning. When I woke up this morning, I woke up with a minor headache. I've been getting these small headaches for about 2 weeks now. I thought it was from getting over a head cold, so I just tried to ignore them. You will learn that I do not like to take drugs or go to the doctor. I'm a little stubborn- um, ok, so I'm a lot stubborn...get off my ass! :-) Anyways...by the time I got to the office in Charleston, my headache started to get worse. Finally, it was hurting to turn my head, fully open my eyes....no biggy, it only hurts when I breath. I started to feel nautious and dizzy, when Napster tells me it sounds like I had a mirgraine. Napster and Morrigan have been around for a lot of my firsts....my first seafood, my first big car accident, my first trip to Sephora and many other things, and now Napster is diagnosing my first migraine! So I'm pissed, not because I have a migraine, but because it is so debilitating that I could not enjoy getting to stay right on the water tonight. Then I'm talking to Morrigan and give her my symptoms (because she is my Googling, MD) and she decides to find out what will ease my pain by calling Bou. Bou's cure - EXCEDRIN MIGRAINE and MOUNTAIN DEW. I knew I better listen to my Blogmother!! I went and picked some up, went back to my hotel room, took Bou's mystic cure and layed down in my quiet, dark room. Then I hear a knocking on my door. What the f***! Who doesn't know how to read the damn room numbers I go to answer the door and there is a housekeeper there and she says she's there to turn down the bed. I tell her no thank you and she hands me a piece of paper and two bottles of water and tells me to have a wonderful evening. Okay, so I feel a little bad, but I'm sure she's gotten worse people to answer the door. Then I go to read the piece of paper:
A SOLDIERS PRAYER I asked God for strength, that I might achieve. I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health, that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity, that I might do better things. I asked for riches, that I might be happy. I was given poverty, that I might be wise. I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life. I was given life, that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, But everything that I had hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed. Written by an anonymous confederate soldier during the Civil War of the United States
Suddenly....my migraine isn't so bad anymore.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Why I Don't Cook

Other than the fact that I hate cooking for only one person, the following usually happens (like today): Call #1 to Mom -
Mom: Hello? Me: Hey, what are you doing? Mom: Making Sis #1 an omelet. What are you doing? Me: (whining) Trying to cook. Mom: Hahaha, what are you trying to cook? Me: Pork Chops. I have a question. I think my pork chops have freezer burn. Mom: Why do you think that? Meat is usually good in the freezer for about 6 months. How long have you had them? Me: I don't know, the sell by date says Jan 3 2005 so I guess before then. Mom: Well you probably don't have freezer burn then. How are you cooking them? Me: I'm going to try the breading stuff you use and throw them in the oven. Mom: What are you having with them? Me: Mashed potatoes, corn, and rice Mom: Mmm, sounds good, let me know how it turns out. Me: Okay, I'll probably end up calling again.
So first let me explain the carbo-loading. It's totally comfort food. My favorite meal is what we normally have at Thanksgiving which is breaded pork chops, mashed potatoes, corn, mac n' cheese, rice, salad and rolls. So today I am settling for pork chops, mashed potatoes and corn. I pour the breading into a bowl. I try and play Chef and add a little Adobo to the mix, playing it cool. Then I open the package of pork chops, grimaced at what I saw, and decided I was going to use tongs instead of my hands to bread the chops. I go to look for a baking pan to put the pork chops in (that I have already breaded) and the one I need is still in the fridge with Pasta Bake in it from, ummm, about 2-3 weeks ago I'm sure. I lay the pork chops on aluminum foil and go to remove the pasta monstrosity out my fridge. I take it out with the tips of my fingers like it's going to come out and bite me, remove the aluminum foil and cringe my face, hold my breath and start scraping it's contents into the trash. Now I have to wash the damn thing. Screw it, I'll just put it in the dishwasher Call #2 to mom -
Me: Mom, I have the chops breaded and on aluminum foil but I have to wash the baking pan. What do I do with them? Mom: Just wash it and put them in there, they'll be okay until then. Me: No, I'm putting it in the dishwasher, none of the stuff is coming off. Mom: Oh come on, just wash it. Me: Noooo..... Mom: Okay, just put them in a fridge wrapped in aluminum foil but take them right out when the dishwasher is done. Me: Okay...thanks!
So I load the dishwasher - of course leaving the clean silverware and cups in there that I still haven't unloaded. Oh, and I need to take out the trash now, it's going to start to stink. Call #3 to mom -
Me: How long does it take potatoes to go bad? Mom: How long have you had them? Me: I don't know...but there's crap growing out of them. I threw them away. Mom: They were probably fine, you can cut the eyes off. Me: No, those are gross! I'll just make instant potatoes. Mom: But you don't like those. You never let me make them. Me: I know, but I don't want to slice potatoes and then I'd have to go to the store and get milk. Mom: You don't have any milk? Me: No, whenever I buy it, it just goes bad. Ok, I'm going to finish this up. I'll call you if I need anything.
The dishes are finally done and I am able to start baking the chops. The oven has been preheating this whole time and I end up pulling a Napster (for those of you who don't know what that is, Napster (MW) is known for burning herself, mainly on a George Foreman, but this is just a more advanced version since I was being a big girl and trying to use the oven) So now it's time to start the potatoes, corn and rice. I start the rice in the rice cooker (the best invention ever made!), throw the corn in the microwave and then look at the instant potatoes, puzzled. I start the water boiling for the communist imitation potatoes (that I instantly know JN will tease me for on Monday)and then my timer goes off for the chops. I take them out and try to figure out how I know for sure if they are done. Call #4 to mom -
Me: How do I know if these pork chops are done? Mom: How long did you have them in there for? Me: 15 minutes...that's what the box said. Mom: How thick are they? Me: I don't know...like 1/2 an inch. Mom: Are you sure they are 1/2 an inch...that's kind of big. Me: Well, no, they are probably a little less than that. Mom: Just cut in the middle of one and make sure it's white and there's nothing pink showing. Me: Okay...well I'm almost done. I'm going to go finish up and eat. Mom: Okay, let me know how it turns out.
It turns out the pork chops are fine. The corn is done. And now I read the instructions for the communist potatoes. "Pour boiling water into serving bowl" Serving bowl? I don't have a freaking serving bowl! (As I'm looking through all my cabinets). Why can't I just use the damn pot! I find a large mixing bowl assuming it'll work, pour the boiling water and then the powdered orange potatoes. YUCK!! These things look like grits!! Finally, the communist potatoes are solidifying, and all I'm waiting on now is the rice. Because I have no concept of time, I started the rice after the escapade with the chops. The buzzer is still going off for the corn because I haven't gotten over to turn the damn thing off and I watch in amazement as this orange powder turns into mashed potatoes. 15 minutes later, everything is done and I can eat. I make myself a plate, Kiki jumping on me wanting me to share, go to sit in my recliner, find something on TV...and my phone rings.
Mom: How'd everything turn out? Me: Good Mom: Is it yummy? Me: I don't know, I haven't gotten to try anything yet. Mom: Okay, well let me know. Me: Okay...next time I'm just going to freaken Outback or something and getting take away. Mom: Haha, yea but this is so much cheaper.
And THIS ladies and gentlemen, is why I do not cook! Not to mention the clean up and dishes that are sitting over there waiting for me.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Law & Order SVU

If anyone is a Law & Order SVU fan like I am, Stephanie March who played ADA Alexandra Cabot, will be in Tuesday's episode where she comes out of the Witness Protection Plan to testify about what happened to her. I'm assuming this is just a guest appearance, but who knows what they might spin it into.

About Sissy

So I guess it's about time that I shed some light on who I am. The name is easy enough to explain. I have two darling younger sisters that I love with all my heart that call me Sis or Sissy. Sis #1 is 16 and a senior in high school. She is a brilliant artist and is tons of fun. She has me playing the protective sister constantly because she is a bombshell and I know the guys are going to be trouble! Sis #2 is 7 going on 13. She is a social butterfly. She cheerleads, is in Girl Scouts (those damn cookies), and loves to sing to Hillary Duff. I have a feeling that I will have to play the protective sister with this one too. And now I guess it's time to share a little bit about me. I'm going to borrow Machelle's Ten Layers of Me, that she got from her Blog Mom Tammi. No sense in re-inventing the wheel here. Ten Layers of Me LAYER ONE: Name: Sissy Birth date: July 17 Birthplace: Twentynine Palms, CA Current Location: Columbia, SC Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Dark Blonde Height: 5'6" Righty or Lefty: righty Zodiac Sign: Cancer LAYER TWO: Your heritage: Mutt - Some Irish, some French (althought I don't freely admit that) and some others that my Grandmother has researched The shoes you wore today: None - Don't wear them when I don't have to Your weakness: Kiki pouting Your fears: All bugs, needles (although you wouldn't believe it later in this post) Your perfect pizza: Thin Crust with ham, bacon, and red onion Goal you'd like to achieve: Get my Bachelors LAYER THREE: Your most overused phrase on IM: hahahahhaha Your thoughts first waking up: Those damn cats mating outside my window! Your best physical feature: Eyes Your most missed memory: Huh? LAYER FOUR: Pepsi or Coke: Water McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's Single or group dates: Group dates Adidas or Nike: Nike Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Neither, don't like tea Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate, but I think you guessed that one Cappuccino or coffee: Neither, don't like coffee drinks LAYER FIVE: Smoke: Second hand - it's cheaper (no I don't smoke) Cuss: ya damn right Sing: In my car or after some drinks Take a shower everyday: Yes, sometimes twice Do you think you've been in love: Yes Want to go to college: Doing that now - UoP Like(d) high school: Loved it at the time - would never go back Want to get married: Maybe one day Believe in yourself: Most of the time Get motion sickness: Only when going around in circles or backwards Think you're attractive: Not quite...but there a couple attractive qualities about me Think you're a health freak: No but I am known as the Water Nazi Get along with your parent(s): Yes Like thunderstorms: Love them Play an instrument: Clarinet, Euphonium/Baritone, Bassoon and messed around with the Soprano Sax, Trombone and Piano. I'm trying to get back into piano now and maybe some guitar. LAYER SIX: In the past month... Drank alcohol: Um, Yes Smoked: 2nd hand smoke Done a drug: Legal - yes ... Illegal - No Made Out: Yes Gone on a date: yes Gone to the mall?: Of course Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: No...but those damn Girl Scout Cookies, now that's another story Eaten sushi: No...but I'm sure Morrigan will make me some time Been on stage: For a good portion of my life Been dumped: Yes Gone skating: Yes Made homemade cookies: Yes Gone skinny dipping: Yes Dyed your hair: Yes Stolen anything: I stole this "10 Layers" :-) LAYER SEVEN Ever... Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes If so, was it mixed company: yes Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes Been caught "doing something": Yes Been called a tease: Yes Gotten beaten up: No Shoplifted: No Changed who you were to fit in: All the time - good old military moves! LAYER EIGHT: Age you hope to be married: I'm no rush Numbers and Names of Children: Kiki - 2 (my pup) Describe your Dream Wedding: I want a casual, comfortable wedding on the beach How do you want to die: I don't really have that desire Where you want to go to college: I'm very happy at University of Phoenix Online What do you want to be when you grow up: Still struggling with that What country would you most like to visit: I'd like to visit Geneva, Switzerland again LAYER NINE Opposite sex (or the same?) Opposite Best eye color? Blue Best hair color? Blonde/Brown Short or long hair: Short Best Height? At least 6' Best weight: More than me Best articles of clothing: Jeans and T-shirt Best first date location: Bowling Best first kiss location: Front Seat LAYER TEN: Number of drugs taken illegally: Never Number of people I could trust with my life: There are a couple Number of CDs that I own: approx 300 Number of piercings: 7 at one time...now it's 5 Number of tattoos: 2 Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: A few, I don't remember Number of scars on my body: This is getting weird.... Number of things in my past that I regret: There are a couple... In addition....FIRSTS: * FIRST JOB: An Ice Cream Shoppe in the hospital at 15 * FIRST SCREEN NAME: Sissy2124 * FIRST SELF-PURCHASED CD: Celine Dion - The Colour of My Love * FIRST PIERCING/TATTOO: Ears / Lower Back * FIRST ENEMY: The Dentist LASTS: * LAST KISS: A week ago * LAST LIBRARY BOOK: Oh my, I'm sure it was something for school * LAST MOVIE SEEN: Watching Raising Helen right now on ON Demand * LAST BEVERAGE DRANK: Water * LAST FOOD CONSUMED: White Cheddar popcorn * LAST PHONE CALL: KR to give me the scoop on her weekend * LAST CD PLAYED: The Killers - Hot Fuss * LAST ANNOYANCE: This morning, those damn cats! * LAST SODA DRINK: Diet Mt. Dew yesterday * LAST ICE CREAM EATEN: Wow, it's been over a month...might need to fix that tonight! * LAST TIME SCOLDED: I blocked that out of my memory * LAST SHIRT WORN: USMC T-Shirt I: * I AM: still trying to figure that out * I WANT: to be happy, and I am * I HAVE: the best dog in the world * I WISH: I knew more people * I HATE: Hypocrites * I FEAR: screwing up * I HEAR: music constantly * I SEARCH: for more music * I WONDER: why people can't accept people for who they are * I REGRET: not being so open when I was younger * I LOVE: my friends and family * I ALWAYS: try to be a good person to be around * I AM NOT: talkative around people I don't know * I DANCE: after drinking way too much * I SING: In the Car or after drinking way too much * I CRY: every Sunday night at 8pm while watching ABC's Extreme Home Makeover FAVORITES: * NUMBER: 17 * COLOR: Blue * DAY: Friday * MONTH: July * SONG(S): I have way too many - you will learn a lot of them on future posts * SEASON: Fall * DRINK: Margaritas! Okay...well, I think that pretty much covers it!!

Too Much Freedom

I went out last night at an attempt to be social, however I usually end up being a spectator. I love to people watch. What I learned last night that bars should not have CNN on the TV for people to watch while drinking. I listened to a drunken woman last night that had me boiling, but one of our country's best came to the rescue. Female (attempting to read the subtitles on CNN): We just need to get the hell out of there. Those people didn't do anything to us. We just send all these testosterone filled macho men over there to play GI Joe on those innocent people. At this point, she has everyone sitting at the bar starring at her. And then all of a sudden, this guy walks over there with two shots and hands her one. I thought he was going to drink to that until I heard him say: Ma'am, it's because of those GI Joe's over there that you can say stupid shit! I love this country and that we are free, but maybe we have too much freedom, because dumb people can roam the country and annoy the hell out of the rest of us. And he slammed his shot back, laid the glass in front of her on the bar, turned away and went back to his table, as she held her shot in her hand, speechless.
"People sleep peacefully in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

Friday, February 18, 2005

Music Meme

I'm surprised it's taken me this long to somehow get to the subject of music. It will soon be a regular occurrence. I was tagged by VW at One Happy Dog Speaks to do the Music Meme. Random 10 Albums: - The Killers - Hot Fuss (Also known as The Killer Hot Tubs if you are MK) - Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane - Josh Groban - Live at The Greek - Journey - Greatest Hits - Sarah McLachlan - Afterglow Live - Metallica - S&M - Shania Twain - Greatest Hits - Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill - Dave Matthews Band - The Central Park Concert - Billy Joel - Greatest Hits Vol. 1 & 2 1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer? Currently 614 - I had 3000+ until Dell had to replace my hard drive for the 2nd time 2. The last CD you bought was: I actually bought two. The Killers - Hot Fuss and Howie Day - Stop All the World Now 3. What is the last song you listened to before this message? My December by Josh Groban (originally done by Linkin Park) 4. Five songs that you often listen to or that mean a lot to you: - My December - Linking Park or Josh Groban - Answer - Sarah McLachlan - That's My Job - Conway Twitty - Everything - Lifehouse - Daddy's Hands - Holly Dunn 5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to (five persons and why)? Considering I do not know 5 people to pass this to yet, I'm going to pull a VW and leave this up to anyone that would like to share their taste.

All in the Family

Yeah, I have a family!! Boudicca at Boudicca's Voice has announced me has her Blog Daughter. (Okay, so I'm playing around with the linking) I am very excited and hope I can do my new family proud. I've been roaming through everyone's pages and am loving everything I read. Great stuff! So be patient with me as I am working on getting the Family Blogroll going. Any hints and tips are greatly appreciated as I'm learning this new language html.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Comfy Couch

Why does your best sleep sometimes come from the couch? I have a very comfortable king size bed with 400 ct sheets and a comforter and multiple pillows that you could get lost in. I figure 1/3 of my day is spent in bed, it might as well be one of the better places in my house. However, I think I work more in there than anywhere else. Hold on, not that type of work! (This is PG) I dream these dreams that are so real that later I sometimes question whether that was a dream or if it really happened. And these dreams couldn't be relaxing dreams....they are working dreams. I dream that I'm at work and actually dream conversations with coworkers. I dream about writing papers and doing Power Point presentations for school. I even dream about packing, moving and unpacking! Some of my better ideas have come while dreaming, but that's not what I want!!! I want 8 hours of mind numbing, brain dead sleep! Well, this must be catching up with me as I was sitting on the couch with Kiki the pootie dog, flipping through reruns of Will and Grace, Friends and Roseanne and felt this overwhelming exhaustion hit me. I laid down on the couch, pull the blanket down from the back of the couch, cuddle with Kiki and decide to get a quick nap in. An hour later, I woke up like I had the best full night's sleep ever. I don't believe I dreamed for a minute (if that's possible). So again, why does our best sleep come from the couch? Or am I the only one? The good news....I slept through all the crappy TV and woke up just in time for ER! Tonight, Cynthia Nixon (from Sex and the City) guest stars. Oh the simple things that amuse me.....

Tequila

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a Bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned and the Genie says,"Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want." The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila." Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila." The Genie grants him his wish. When the Mexican gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like tequila. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like tequila. So, he takes a taste and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted. The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuela, Consuela, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is tequila. Consuela is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank and partied all night. The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two glasses. The result is the same, the tequila is excellent and the couple drinks until the sun comes up. Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home and tells his wife, "Consuela grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila." His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table. The Mexican begins to fill the glass and when he fills it, his wife asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only one glass?" Pancho raised the glass and says, "Because tonight mi amor, you drink from the Bottle. ¡ SALUD !

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

It's Cookie Time

On the way to work this morning, I heard a song to the tune of Toni Basil's Mickey. Fast forward to the part in your head that goes, Oh Mickey, what a pity you don´t understand You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand And this is what I heard on the radio: Oh Girl Scout Cookies, making me expand Walking around all day with a Thin Mint in my hand. It's officially started!! I then walked into the door where the receptionist was eating Shortbread Girl Scout Cookies. I knew what that meant. The three boxes I ordered from someone at work out of pure kindness *wink* would be waiting for me upstairs in my office. I contemplated climbing the stairs a couple of times to prepare for what would soon be my breakfast! I am going to try and pawn 2 of the 3 boxes (I'm not sick!) off on others in the office, as I have a few more boxes coming to me from Arizona from Sis #2 (age 7). I couldn't turn her down and neither could some others that she conned into buying to reach her goal of 160 to win a bear. And to end my cookie filled day, while driving home from work, I pass an elementary school with many Girl Scouts on the corner selling more cookies. (Hi mom, I'm going to be late coming home from school because I have to sell cookies on the corner! Hmmm.....) And then last, I go into Publix and am ambushed by more cookie selling machines. I paid them $5 to keep the cookies from going to my ass! They were very excited! So the season has officially started!! I think it's a scam from the gyms and weight loss centers to keep their membership going after everyone has failed their New Years Resolution!

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

My plan when I started this blog was to post a few times, see if I was any good, and would share it with friends if it went well. Well, when do things ever really go as you plan? When I buy birthday and Christmas presents, I have the hardest time not giving them to the recipient early. Last year at Thanksgiving I went to visit my mom, stepdad and sister (known now as Family A). Knowing I would not see them at Christmas and just wanted an excuse to give gifts, I went ahead and passed out presents. Why even have holidays? So at Christmas, I called and wished them a Merry Christmas and reminded them that they were not forgotten at Christmas and that they were currently wearing and using their presents. The point of this is that I cannot keep anything fun or exciting to myself. When I went to work this morning, I told a couple of friends that got me addicted to reading blogs that I broke down and started one of my own. What have I gotten myself into? OH the pressure! :-) But now I'm excited - I have friends that are amused by turkey hot dogs and Kiki's flatulence so hopefully I can keep my posts that simple! And rumor has it I have help coming soon...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Say No To Hot Dogs!!

Here I am, trying to think of this brilliant idea for my first post. I'm sitting here in my recliner with my laptop typing this huge epiphany I have had recently...but can't get it done because my dog is driving me totally nuts!! First of all, let me explain my dog. She is an 8lb Chihuahua mix. I never thought I would have a small dog, as the whole idea of the yippy purse dog was not my opinion of a dog. Well, I just realized that it was 2 years ago today that I rescued Kiki from the animal shelter. I was living in a small studio apartment in Yuma, Arizona. This wasn't the worst hole I'd ever lived in, but wasn't ideal either. The walls were white glossy cinder block looking. I couldn't hang up pictures because of this concrete surrounding me. My bed was a fold out couch that looked directly into my "living area" (if you could call it that). So for some reason, I thought I needed someone else to share my jail cell! Do you think this had anything with spending Valentine's Day alone?? So I go to the local animal shelter, hoping to find a wonderful dog to rescue. I knew I couldn't have anything too huge due to the size of my cell, but again, did not want a yippy purse dog. And then I came to cage #17 (which you will soon realize is my lucky number). She looked like a miniature shepherd-chow mix. She was only two months old all curled up in a blanket, hiding from all the noise from the other big loud dogs. Then I hear her sob story. She was picked up, all alone, on the side of a highway. I held her and she leaned her head against my shoulder, shaking, and I knew I would not be able to leave her there. I underestimated how smart she was! So let's fast forward to today. Kiki is not a yippy purse dog! She thinks she's a large dog and will get out there and play with large dogs and hold her own. She doesn't yip, nip or any of that obnoxious typical Chihuahua stuff. She plays, she loves, and is smart as hell. So why she's driving me nuts! Kiki absolutely hates my laptop because it sits in my lap and needs both of my hands and takes me away from her. She sits next to me and waits for the chance to grab one of my hands or get into my lap to lay with me. Yes, very loving....but is hard when you are trying to do school work. So, finally, she just got pissed at me and started playing by herself. So, she's running laps in the living room (we no longer live in that cell), jumping from the oversize chair to get a flying head start to the other side of the room. She finally stands on the couch next to me and all of a sudden I cannot breathe! I smell the most God-awful smell. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Kiki has gas!! Ok, dogs have to take care of business too. So I light a candle, push her off the couch, and go on trying to write this awesome first blog entry. And then....I smell it again! Damn Kiki....what is your issue!! I'm sitting here wondering if this is her way of punishing me for not playing with her right this minute. And then, between holding my nose and checking to see if the smell is gone, the smell is a little familiar (how awful is that!). I'm thinking back to what that smell is when I realize, as a treat, I gave Kiki a turkey hot dog yesterday for Valentine's Day. Wow, the gift that keeps on giving....me a headache! So do they sell stuff for dogs with gas? So this is a wonderful introduction. Hi, I'm Sissy and my dog has gas! (name to be explained in a future post) I may need a support group if this continues...